Dollarama Sex 101

I “saved” this story... didn't even tell Shawn... ok, truth be known I FORGOT to tell him last night.... but this way its new content for everyone!

Yesterday after I stopped at the JD dealer for maintenance supplies, I decided I would go to Stittsville to the Dollarama... just to kill some time and avoid the bit of construction (and the traffic backup!!) going on on March Road.

I wander around the store... got some more poop bags to clean up dog crap... got 2 aluminum foil roasting pans that I like to use when roasting stuff and I'm too lazy to clean my real roasting pan... bought some chocolate bars because Shawn noted that all the good treats got shipped off with Jess....I browsed the Halloween stuff... really just wandering and killing time.

The dollar store is remarkably busy for the middle of the day... mostly Moms with kids buying some back to school supplies. I head down another aisle... it contains things like head phones, telephone cables... cds... that sort of thing and I notice a young woman (maybe about Jessica's age-ish) farther down the aisle looking at phone cables, but I don't think much of it.

I wander down past her and suddenly she turns to me and says “What's the difference between male and female ends on these cables?” While she's saying this she points to the packaging in her hand and points at the words “male end” “female end”. I stop and kinda look around... ok, clearly she's talking to ME. A little panicked by the question, I say “Errr... well I don't work here, but I can try to help you, I guess.”

Instead of answering HER question, I go into tech support mode and ask questions of my own. “What is it that you're trying to do? Do you just need an extension cord for your phone to make it reach?” I notice she's also holding a phone jack splitter, so I add “Or are you trying to turn one phone jack into two?”

She answers, “I have a computer that needs to plug in to a jack and a fax machine that also needs to plug into that jack.”

So I think and say “Well, depending what you're doing with both those machines, it might be tricky to share the same phone line...” and she cuts in and says “I don't know! My boss just sent me over here to buy this stuff, I don't really know what he's planning to use them for.” She seems kind of upset and confused now.

I ask her “What did he tell you to buy, exactly?”

She says “He told me to buy something to change the phone jack into 2 and also something to make one cord longer”..... “But I'm confused what it means when it says “male” and “female on the cords.

To her credit, the dollar store DID have an odd collection of cables... some had “male to male” , “female to female” and of course the “straight” forward (haha! bad pun!) “male to female” ends.

So I start to explain that the cable they have will plug in here, and make it longer and then it plugs into the splitter. She seems to understand how to attach everything now but she doesn't really seem quite “done” with the conversation.

For a moment or two, I'm not sure if I should just walk away or what... so I kinda stand there uncomfortably while she is clearly thinking about this.

Then she says “So the female plug receives the male plug...?” She stops talking and immediately turns 18 shades of red and then a few more of purple.

I stammer and say “Um yes, when they refer to the gender of the cable ends, its really just the same as, umm, sex.”

She blushes and says “Oh gosh, I'm sorry... I had no idea.... I went to Catholic school!”.

At this point, I'm sure there MUST be a hidden camera somewhere and someone is playing a joke on me so I look around all panicked... but no, its just business as usual in the dollar store.

I say nothing more than “Good luck, I hope those are the parts you need” and I bolt to the other side of the store while she heads to the cash register to pay for her phone cables.

At this point, I'm torn between laughing hysterically and feeling kinda sorry for her... I'm SURE she was at least 16 and I would GUESS closer to 19!! (She was old enough to have a job, for instance) Its one thing to not realize about gendered cables etc.... but what the heck ARE they teaching at Catholic school these days?! haha

Overall, it was an entertaining, though uncomfortable exchange. I hope she ended up with the right parts... and that'll teach me for agreeing to play tech support / sex educator at Dollarama!!